Funny Stuff(mind out of gutter people!)
Dad's Funny Fb Posts:
1)You know, when i was born i was so shocked i didn't speak for one and a half years...
"Wasabi~ It's like a party in my mouth!" ~Fang
I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak, either behind my back, or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.
But I am also the girl who knows and is proud of who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing things no one seems to have the time to do anymore, who loves and is obsessed with Danny Phantom/Statick Shock/Maximum Ride and something new every few minutes, who can express herself better without words than with words, and knows the importance of the little things.
Copy and Paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.
~PrettyFanGirl, Truth Be Told 13, creative-writing-girl13, Jasper 1006, DubbleV, iStartRiots, CourtneyXDuncanForver, musicaltheatergirl-dxc4eva, SamanthaFenton, Linzerj, I'mdancinonthefloorforacartoon~Skellingtonfan1-Phantomgirl96, pinkpokodots:), JustPlainPain~, mreader1
Author's Head Has Exploded And Will Be Back Shortly
WATCH THIS AND TELL ME YOU DIDN'T LAUGH!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=7VSR4_tAYvw
Cop1: Sir, we have a containment breech. They're escaping.
Cop2: So?
Cop1: They stole the waffles.
Cop2: OH MY GOD WE'RE SENDING IN THE NAVY!!!
39 Ways To Annoy Iggy
1.Lead him into the girl’s bathroom but tell him it’s the boy’s
2.Pretend to be deaf
3.Give him some random piece of clothing and tell him it’s a new kind of hat
4.Which it isn’t
5.Take pictures when he puts it on his head
6.Post the pictures on Fang’s blog
7.Start screaming when ever he starts a sentence
8. Hand cuff him to Nudge and make him listen to her for hours
9. Stare at him suspiciously…
10.Keep staring at until he gets really annoyed
11.Tell him you found Narnia in his closet
12.Then shove him at it
13.When he runs into the wall tell him it closed a second before he reached it
14.The lion doesn’t like the birds
15.Say indeed after every sentence
16.Sing Weird Al so softly only he can hear them
17.Watch him go insane
18.Pay Gazzy ten bucks to imitate his voice saying…
19.“OMG! Squee! That purse is so cute!”
20. Laugh while watching him chase Gazzy around the room
21.Ask him why he said that
22.“Did you think it would go with your dress?”
23.“Cos girl, it doesn’t!”
24.Run away screaming
25.Keep asking, “Did you see that?!” Over and over again
26.When he tries to sit down pull the chair away
27.Poke him and run away
28.Make him run into you then say, “How could you not’ve seen me!?”
29.Fart then blame it on him
30.Burn all his clothes then give him a dress to ware
31.Pop out of corners and scream, “BOO!!”
32.Accuse him of looking at Fang’s butt
33.State that even though he can’t see he was looking
34.Start speaking only in sign language
35.Kiss him then tell him Fang did it
36.Sing the song that never ends so obnoxiously even total gets annoyed
37.Dance to The Mysterious Ticking Noise
38.Read everything out loud
39.Scream “OMG! ITS MICHAEL JACKSON!! RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIIIVES!!” at random times
30 Ways To Annoy Maximum Ride
1. Tell her Sam says hi and he loves her
2. Push Fang into her so they end up lying on the ground together
3. Dye everything she owns pink
4. Sing the song that never ends on a long flight
5. While flying push Fang and Iggy and sing “It’s Raining Men!” as they fall
6. “Accidentally” call Fang “Fag” in front of her face
7. Offer to cut her hair while holding a sharp object
8. When she comes out of the room throw some bouncy down the hall and scream:
9. “Go Pikachu, Go!!”
10. Set her alarm clock to go off every ten minutes
11. Sing “Gay Asian Kitten” to Fang
12. Hold her hand and whisper, “I see dead people.”
13. When Erasers are coming scream repeatedly, “The British are coming!”
14. Fall over her feet then accuse her of tripping you
15. Whenever she says something to you, moo like a cow
16. Call her a Cow
17. Do Nudge’s hair
18. Badly
19. Sing “I Believe I Can Fly!” before taking off
20. Before opening a door, grip the knob tightly and scream,
21. “I HAVE THE POWER!!”
22. Walk in on her when she’s in the bathroom
23. Put your finger on her forehead and scream, “POKE OF DOOM!”
24. Scream, “FEAR ME!” when attacking Erasers
25. Point at a package of pencils and say, “OMG! Erasers!”
26. Do the chicken dance then laugh at her
27. Tell her Fang is gay and thinks he’s ah hem, “Fangalicious!”
28. Point at a random bird and say, “That could be your cousin!”
29. Ask her if she’s a lesbian
30. Scream from across the room, “I HAVE THOSE ADULT DIAPERS YOU WANTED!”
30 Way To Really Annoying Your Friends
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. Say "Wouldn't you like to know?" everytime someone asks you a question.
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog."
15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions to "keep them tuned up."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
17. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and copy them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."
27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidently" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
51 Ways to Annoy Fang
1) Poke him between the wings and then run away screaming, "I touched a goth kid!!"
2) When he flies at you all angry and stuff, tell him to go poop in mid-air!
3) You know, like a real bird!
4) When he's sleeping, pull out some of his secondary feathers...
5) Then tickle his face with them!
6) Tell him Iggy has a crush on him.
7) Keep telling him until he punches you and then go tell on him to Max.
8) Tell Max to rip his spine out and beat him with it. (From Book 2 remember?)
9) Tell him Nudge thinks he's sexy.
10) While flying, get Total into an animated conversation about Brittney Spears.
11) Then ask him what he thinks about the subject.
12) Tell him he should shave his head like Brittney.
13) Get in a loud conversation with Max about if she uses tampons or liners.
14) Say loudly that you sometimes use both because your period is so heavy.
15) Fly over him and pretend to count the number of hairs on his head.
16) Then tell him he has dandruff and needs a hair cut.
17) Ask him if he dyed his hair or if he was born a freaky goth kid.
18) Braid his hair while he sleeps.
19) Pay Gazzy ten bucks to kick him in the shins. Laugh the whole time.
20) Whenever he leans on a tree and becomes invisible...
21) Practice karate on the said tree, making his move.
22) Ask hi if he wants a sandwich. If he says yes,scream, "APRIL FOOLS!!"
23) If he says no...
24) Cry and run away screaming, "My sandwiches are just as good as Max's!"
25) If he isn't talking, ask him why you heard Max in his room last night.
26) And she was making all these weird sound... (that should make him answer!)
27) Every time he says something, say, "So is your face!" (That annoys everyone!)
28) Say the following sentences repeatedly in crowded areas:
29) "Where did you hide your razors this time, you stupid emo kid!"
30) "I seriously think we should use a condom next time."
31) Ask Max (in front of the whole flock) if Fang is good in bed.
32) Stand in his way constantly, even in front of the bathroom door.
33) Make him breakfast, then right before he sits down to eat sneeze on it.
34) Grab a random emo guy around the waist, point Fang out to him and say:
35) "Hey! This is Fang! You want to go out with him? He's lonely" *tear*
36) Stand really closed to him a say, "Oooh! That feels good!"
37) If you ever happen to be in the same room alone with him...
38)Start singing an MCR song and ask him if he likes the band.
39) Continue singing and never let him answer.
40) Tell him you want to name your cat after him. Fang the cat.
41) Ask him if he would like to name his kid "Tooth".
42) Tell him you think that's not a good idea.
43) Suggest the names Tally and Isabella.
44) Or Unikwaa.
45) Tell him you want to have his children. Tally, Isabella, And Unikwaa.
46) Dare him to push Angel down.
47) Make him pinky swear to do it so he gets in a lot of trouble.
48) Hide his comb and hair gel.
49) And his eyeliner. Don't forget the eyeliner. Does he even where it? Find out.
50) Make him admit he's gay, Record "him"saying so.
And finally, the last one. The best one that will make him implode.
(note: explode is bad. Implode is worse)
51) Tell him Max is a lesbian.
(author starts rolling on the floor laughing her a$$ off)
On a funnier note..........
When people don't laugh at our jokes we don't think of it as a "You had to be there." type of thing. But more like a "You have to be mentally retarded like us." type of thing(or completely nuts, perverted, and have no dignity whatsoever)
Having the love of your life say, "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.
"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."
A good friend will bail you out of jail. But a best friend will be in the room next to you yelling "THAT WAS AWESOME LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"
All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.......when your boyfriend dumps you imitate darth vader.
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!
When life give you lemons, make apple juice and let the world wonder how you did it.
When life gives you lemons you make Grape juice, sit back, and laugh as the world 'trys' to figure out how you did it! XD
Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. -evil laugh-... parking garage... yellow bunnies... blue m&m's... Aston Martin... random words...motorcycle...tutu...candy canes...canadia)
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On a pizza place advertisement: "Limit 2 slices per person with a purchase; Dine-in or carry-out only." (In or out... so the roof's not an option, then?)
On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap".
(And that would be, how?)
On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost".
(Just a suggestion...)
On Nana’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down".
(Oh, now you tell me!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".
(Isn't that the point?)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nitol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".
(Well, I should hope so!)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".
(As opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor:” Not to be used for the other use".
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts".
(Talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
(Oh, darn...)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Kind of makes you wonder, huh?( i love these!! If you have any other ones, I WANT TO HHEAR THEM!)ps. I don't own!:(
sent in by viewers like you!
On a KING SIZED mattres: "Warning: do not atempt to swallow."(darn and that matrise looked so
appitizing)
Thanks to: Victoria xx287xx
On a slime egg toy: "not food. Not to be ingested."
(Hmm, tastes like chicken…) -Thanks akakat101
On a package of dog kibble: "Contains real artificial bacon bits." (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.) -that makes me feel so much better! Thanks Sunlight Storm!
Send them in! - the more i laugh, the closer the world comes to self destruction!
Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.
For those that don't know, these are awesome QUOTES!!
"Now, if you two don't mind, I'm going to bed, before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed, or worse, expelled." - Hermione Granger - Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.
"The man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a drink. The man who was sleeping drinks it while listening to a proposition from the man who did the waking." - Captain Jack Sparrow - Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl
"Ashante-sana squashed banana." - Rafiki - The Lion King
"Kairi! Remember what you said before? I'm always with you too. I'll come back to you...I promise!" - Sora - Kingdom Hearts
"I am a librarian." - Evelyn Carnahan - The Mummy
"It's like my buddy Timon here says: You gotta put your behind in your past." - Pumbaa - The Lion King
"Got it memorized?" - Axel - Kingdom Hearts II
"It's the Bible. You get credit for trying." - Ragetti - Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
"What about elevinsies? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper? He knows about them, doesn't he?" - Pippin - Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring
"Inconceivable!" Vizzini - The Princess Bride
"I got jar of dirt. I got a jar of dirt. Igot a jar of dirt." -Captin Jack Sparow- Pirate of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest
copy/paste!!
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you think that those stupid kids should just give that poor Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile.
If you know (a) video game character(s) or video game weapon(s) that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile.
92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your carcass off.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't,copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, Queen S of Randomness 016, Light Dragon SunsSong, Neassa, Kimiko, Ocean's Nocturne of the COCA, luvablenerd, I RuleThisWorldSoGetYourOwn, pinkpokodotz:)
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.
I solemly swear that anyone who flames my stories will get a flame back. FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE! BEAT OUT THE FLAMES! If you agree (or hate flamers), copy this into your profile.
If you're easily confussed or confuzzled add this to you're profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you've ever argued with yourself and lost, copy and paste this into your profile.
85 percent of the people who read Harry Potter think Luna Lovegood is crazy. If you are a part of the 15 percent that thinks she rules, copy this into your profile
15 percent of every high school population is considered "Popular". 20 percent is desperate to become a part of the popular 15 percent. 20 percent couldn't care less. 15 percent realize that popularity doesn't matter. 10 are too busy worrying about their grades to care. 5 percent are goths, 5 percent can speak another language fluently, and 5 percent are too stupid to realize that no one likes them. If you are a part of the 5 percent who think the 'unpopular' 85 percent should rebel against the popular 15 percent, copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Ocean's Nocturne of the COCA, luvablenerd,I RuleThisWorldSoGetYourOwn, pinkpokodotz:)
If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.(oh the irony)
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.
If you are a klutz, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.
FANFICTION: MY ANTI-DRUG. because, who has time for drugs if you're reading and plotting and writing and checking reviews? If this is true for you, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile.
Too many people have smoked marijuana. If you haven't, put this in your profile.
Too many people are on crack. If you're not, add this to your bio.
If you’ve ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table for no reason copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever changed your password on something and forgotten it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever gotten a lock (like one on a locker) and put it on something, then forgot the combination, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile
If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.
Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
Chocolate chip cookies are the best!! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile!!
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.
If you like to put these types of things in your profile, copy and paste to your profile.
If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, put this in your pro.
If you ever laughed at a movie that wasnt funny, put this in your pro.
If you love rain, put this into your profile.
For all of you who dont know, stupitity killed the cat and curiosity was framed. If you didn't know this,copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever tripped where there was a 'watch your step' sign, put this in your pro.
"REMEMBER WHEN"
REMEMBER WHEN .. getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground?the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs?when )m 0 m( was your heroand 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblingsand rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?when - WAR- was a card gameand life was simple and care free?remember when all you wanted to doWAS GROW UP?
Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now
Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.
Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy that kisses your forhead,
who keeps your picture in his wallet,
who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,
who holds your handin front of all his freinds,
who thinks your beautiful without makeup,
one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,
THE one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER!
(So true!!)
Vote forEdward Cullen for President 'Armageddon; he is Mr. Indestructible.
Mr. Cullen gives his thanks for your support._ XD
Vote for Fang, This years Armageddon president; he's seen it, done it, and lets face it... he rocks!
Mr. Ride gives you his thanks for your support +.+ MAX RIDE FOR EVER!
here's another one:
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you draw Edward's face and hot bod all over your Advanced Placement United States History notes when you should be concentrating on the APUSH final the next day.Crazy is when you run into a pole and say as your excuse you were daydreaming about your fictionl boyfriend Edward. Crazy is screaming everytime you hear the name Edward because you think Jacob is 10 times better. HAHA! -laughs at Edward fangirls- --That's Crazy, too. Crazy is when you're not paying attention when the teacher is rambling and you think of something funny from the other day that you don't realize is funny til that moment and you burst into hysterical laughter and the entire class turns around and stares at you and you look the other way and pretend you don't notice. Crazy is when you star in your own movie and pretend to be an assassin... multiple times. Crazy is when you burst into your sister's room screaming 'Why are you here' in SPANISH when she's in a higher spanish class than you and then when she replies with a sentence you don't know, you say exactly what she said! Crazy is when you have an argument with some friends about who is crazier, and and your friend that was reading a psychology book to psych out his psycologyst wins and he wasn't a choice!
If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!
This is cool!
You know you live in 2008
1.) You accidentaly enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years.
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or myspace.
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5 isn't there.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did
13) Now you are mad at me... and thinking about calling up that hacker friend...
Goes on hands& knees "please don't hack me plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..."
15) How do i know this? Alice from twilight is on the phone!
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile.
FAMOUS LAST WORDS: "That's funny, I remember seeing someone who looked just like you on America's Most Wanted..."
Words of Wisdom For The Unwise
Funny Jokes You Can Tell to Your Friends
Blond Jokes
A white man said "colored people are not allowed here".
A black man stood up and said "listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK.
When I grew up I was BLACK.
When I'm sick I'm BLACK.
When I go in the sun I'm BLACK.
When I'm cold I'm BLACK.
When I die I'll be BLACK.
But you sir,
When you were born you were PINK.
When you grow up your WHITE.
When your sick your GREEN.
When you go in the sun your RED.
When your cold your BLUE.
And when you die you turn PURPLE.
And you have the nerve to call me colored?"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away.
Put this on your page if you HATE racism
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal.
It looked too good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'
The next day someone stole it!
They walk amongst us!*
One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted...'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?'
They walk among us!!*
While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff'
They Walk Among Us!!*
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but 'didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'.
They Walk Among Us!!!!*
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped She keeps it in the trunk.
They Walk Among Us!!!!!*
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, 'Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?' I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...
They Walk Among Us!!!!!!! *
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived yet?'...
They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!!*
While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.
Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.!!!!!!!!
I'M A HOMESCHOOLER AND I'M PROUD!
Many people believe this stereotype about homeschoolers:
We have little-to-no friends, we never leave our house, and we are social outcasts.
Help spread the word that this steryotype is WRONG! Copy and paste this into your profile!
I live in a world...
Where being normal is too mundane, too boring for a human being...
Where animals talk, and actually have something to say...
Where Christmas is magical, and miracles actually happen...
Where Halloween is brought by a dancing skeleton and a rag doll woman...
Where snow is because of a man with scissors for hands...
Where superheroes protect the innocent...
Where wardrobes have magical worlds inside...
Where wizards and witches are common...
Where owls bring the mail...
Where imagination powers everything...
Where half-god children go on adventures...
Where ghosts are real, and many are friendly...
Where anyone can fly, if the believe...
Where children never grow old...
Where fairies exist...
Where everyone is different...
Where the beds are made for jumping...
Where we spend the day laughing...
I live in a world different from everything, care to join me?
Written By Skellingtonfan1
REMEMBER WHEN
REMEMBER WHENGetting HIGH meant swinging at a playground?The worst thing you could get from a boy was COOTIES?
MOM was your hero and DAD was the boy you were gonna marry?When your W0RST ENEMIES were your siblingsand RACE ISSUES were about who ran fastest?When WAR was a card gameand life was SIMPLE and CAREFREE?Remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?
Put This In Your Profile If You're Still Five Inside... No Matter How Old You Are Now.
The sorting hat says that I belong in Hufflepuff!
Said Hufflepuff, "I'll teach the lot, and treat them just the same."
Hufflepuff students are friendly, fair-minded, modest, and hard-working. A well-known member was Cedric Diggory, who represented Hogwarts in the most recent Triwizard Tournament.
Take the most scientific Harry Potter
Quiz ever created.
1) I need to tell you a secret! (Look at 5)
2) The answer is... (Look at 11)
3) Don't get mad! (Look at 15)
4) Calm down! Don't be angry! (Look at 13)
5) First... (Look at 2)
6) Don't be mad! (Look at 12)
7) I just wanted to say hi!
8) What I wanted to tell you is... (Look at 14)
9) Patient! (Look at 4)
10) This is the last time I'm going to do this! (Look at 7)
11) I'm not mad when I say this! (Look at 6)
12) Sorry! (Look at 8)
13) Don't be getting all hyper! (Look at 10)
14) I don't know how to say this... (Look at 3)
15) You must really be mad! (Look at 9)
95% of teens would cry if they saw Justin Bieber at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this if you are part of the 5% that would sit there with popcorn and a camera and yell DO A BACKFLIP!
95% of teens hate Twilight. Copy this into your profile if you hate it.
If you hate Twilight with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns, copy and paste this into your profile, grab a bat, and let's find Robert Pattinson!
If you actually tried to give yourself ghost powers, smack yourself for being stupid! Oh, and copy and paste this into your profile.
You say Pink
I say Black
You say Jonas Brothers
I say Capra
You say prep
I say me myself and i
You say Hannah Montanna
I say Beatles
You say Superman
I say Danny Phantom
You say I'm a freak
I say Thanks.
11 ways to annoy/scare your roomate:
0. Every time the phone rings, turn on the stereo at full volume and begin to violently slam-dance with your roommate. If he/she asks about it, say, "Oh, that darn hypnotist..."
1. Hang a picture of your roommate on the wall. Throw darts at it. Smile at your roommate often, saying things like, "How nice to see you again."
2. Get a can of beans. Label them, "Jumping beans." Eat them, and then jump around the room. Get another can of beans. Label them, "Dancing beans." Eat them, and then dance around the room. Get another can of beans. Label them, "Kill Your Roommate beans." Eat them, smiling at your roommate.
3. Every time your roommate falls asleep, wait ten minutes, and then wake him/her up and say, "It's time to go to bed now."
4. Insist that your roommate recite the "Pledge Of Allegiance" with you every morning.
5. Recite "Dr. Seuss" books, all the time. Eventually, think up melodies for the words and sing them, loudly, directly to your roommate. If he/she tells you to stop, act offended and spend the day in bed.
6. Put up traffic signs around the room. If your roommate doesn't obey them, give him/her tickets. Confiscate something your roommate owns until he/she pays the tickets.
7. Walk, talk, and dress like a cowboy at all times. If your roommate inquires, tell him/her, "Don't worry little buckaroo. You'll be safe with me."
8. Complain that your elbows, knees, and other joints have been bothering you. Get a screwdriver, and pretend to "fix" them.
9. Paint abstract paintings, and title them things like, "Roommate Dying in a Car Crash," and "Roommate Getting Whacked in the Head with a Shovel." Comment often about how much you love the paintings.
10. Wear glasses, and complain that you can never see anything. Bump into walls and doors. Put your clothes on backwards. Say, "Who's that?" every time your roommate enters the room. When you're not wearing the glasses, act like you can see fine.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...
You talk to yourself a lot.
You talk to yourself about talking to yourself.
When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else.
After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow, this stuff is great for sugar highs..."
You live off of sugar and caffine
People think you're insane.
You'll check your e-mail every day of the week one week, and then dissappear off the face of the earth the next.
You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.
Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.
People think you have A.D.D.
You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
You start thinking about making lists like this and start laughing for no "apparent" reason
Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.
And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.
Copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions.
1. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Danizzle
2. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): Green Cheetah
3. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name): (Uh no STALKER!)
4. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Pendafra
5. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (fav color, fav drink): Green Mountain Dew (Lol that is right!)
6. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets): Black Louie
7. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (fav fruit, and something that can go wrong): Orange Slide
8. YOUR PIRATE NAME: (fav color, pirate accessory): Green Eyepatch
150 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts
1. I will not poke Hufflepuff’s with spoons, nor will I insist that their house colors indicate that they are “covered in bees”.
2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class
4. “I’ve heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood’s name” is not a challenge.
5. Putting up Doug Henning posters in Filch’s office is not appropriote.
6. I will not go to class skyclad.
7. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.
8. I will not use Umbridge’s quill to write “I told you I was hardcore”.
9. I will stop referring to showering as “giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful”.
10. Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. “Polishing my wand” in the common room is not.
11. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw the Dark Mark on their arm.
12. House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
13. Staring a betting pool on the fate of this years DADA teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.
16. I will not claim Chick Tracts are an accurate presentation of Muggle life.
17. Seamus Finnegan is not “after me Lucky Charms”.
18. I will not refer to the Weasley twins as”bookends”.
19. I will not refer to the Patil twins as “bookends”.
20. I will not call the DADA teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.
21. There is no such thing as a were-thylacine.
22. I will not provide Luna Lovegood with Coast-to-Coast AM transcripts.
23. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.
24. I will not place anything by Silver Ravenwolf on the library shelves.
25. Tricking the school house elf into stripping does not mean they are now mine even if I yell “Pwned!”
26. I am not a sloth Animagus.
27. I am not a tribble Aimagus.
28. I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or a piranha.
29. I do not weigh the same as a duck.
30. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.
31. I do not have a Dalek Patronus.
32. I will not lick Trevor.
33. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.
34. The Ravenclaws are not “Mentals in training”.
35. Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazghul is coincidental.
36. I will not change the password to the prefect’s bath to “Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty”.
38. Professor Flitwick does not wish to be adressed as “Admiral Naismith”.
39. Asking “How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?” is only funny the first time.
42. “42″ is not the answer to every question to the O.W.L.’s.
43. It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.
44. I am not to Owl copies of the Evil Overlord List to suspected Death Eaters.
45. I will not offer to prepare tandori owl.
46. I will stop asking when we will learn to make “Love Potion Number Nine”.
47. I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.
48. I will not teach the first-years to sing “A Wizard’s Staff Has A Knob On The End”.
49. If Ginny Weasley wanted to borrow my Darkover books, she would have said so already.
50. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
51. I will not go to meals dressed as Choda Boy.
52. Sirius Black did not found the Sirius Cybernetics Corp.
53. I will not draw an “H” on Percy Weasley’s forehead.
54. My name is not Captain Subtext.
55. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab does not sell potions ingredients and I will not resell their products as “Veela Pheremones”.
56. I will not refer to Kingsley Shacklebolt as a “Big Black Sex Auror”.
57. I cannot Hadoken anything into oblivion.
58. Professor Flitwick’s first name is not Yoda.
59. I am not the Defense Against the Boring Classes Professor.
60. I am no longer allowed to use the words “pimp cane” in front of Draco Malfoy.
61. It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed and I
should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the
result would be.
62. Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled “Firewhiskey”.
63. Using the Engorgio charm on certain parts of the human anatomy is not
permitted on school grounds, not even for entertainment purposes.
64. First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.
65. A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or drumming on desks, no matter how bored I become.
66. It is inappropriate to slip sample bottles of Selsun Blue into Professor Snape’s personal postbox.
67. I will stop referring to Hufflepuff’s as “cannon fodder”.
68. I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.
69. First-years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow.
70. Novelty or holiday themed ties are not to be worn with my school uniform.
71. I will not use my socks to make hand puppets of the Slytherin house mascot.
72. When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June battle of Good v. Evil, I
will not lift my wand skyward and shout “There can be only ONE!”.
73. I should not refer to DADA professors as “canaries in the coal mine”.
74. I will not say the phrase “Dude, get a life.” to Lord Voldemort.
75. I will not put books of muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library.
76. There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth house at Hogwarts.
And I am not a member of that house, nor am I its founder.
77. I will not refer to the Accio charm as “The Force”.
78. Albus Dumbledore’s proper title is “Headmaster”, not “My Liege”.
79. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I foresaw her death.
80. I will not use Slytherin and Gryffindor first years as Christmas decorations.
81. Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.
82. If asked in class what the Avada Kedavra curse does, yelling “It Does
DEATH!!!” may be correct but it is not the manner in which one should
answer.
83. I am not allowed out of my dorm when visitors from the Ministry are here.
84. I am not allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot gay sex will occur.
85. Ravenclaw’s do not find a sign saying “The library is closed for and indefinite time period” amusing in any sense.
86. I will not attempt to recreate the Key to Time in Transfiguration class.
87. A time turner is not a flux capacitator, and I should therefore not install one in any Muggle cars.
88. I am not allowed to use silencing charms on my Professors.
89. I will not charm Hermione’s time turner to rotate every half-hour.
90. If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
91. I will not claim my X-Files tapes are “Auror Training Videos”.
92. When being interrogated by a member of the staff, I am not to wave my
hand and announce “These are not the droids you are looking for”.
93. I am not a member of the Spanish Inquisition.
94. Albus Dumbledore is not my personal Jesus.
95. I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.
96. I will not follow potions instructions in reverse order just to see what
happens.
97. I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts: A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.
98. “OMGWTF” is not a spell.
99. I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.
100. I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.
101. I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbott and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles.
102. I will not cast the occasional Oblivate spell on Dumbledore, even if it would be amusing.
103. I am not allowed to give the Gryffindors Pixie Stix.
104. I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and take bets on who will come out alive.
105. I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they are real animals.
106. I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.
107. I will not sing The Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches.
108. I will not tell first years that they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.
109. I will not douse Harry Potter’s Invisibility Cloak with lemon juice to
see if he will become visible wearing it and standing near the fire in
the common room.
110. I will not tell first years that Moon Prism Power is a basic Transfiguration spell.
111. I will not yell “Believe it… or not!” after any of Dumbledore’s speeches.
112. Bringing fortune cookies to Divination class does not count for extra credit.
113. My name is not “The Dark Lord Happy-Pants” and I am not allowed to sign my papers as such.
114. There is no such thing as the Chamber of Double Secret Probation.
115. I will not attempt to magically animate my marshmallow Peeps.
116. I will never ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling.
117. Voldemort is not Ganandorf, and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts.
118. I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rock series during Arithmancy exams.
119. I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of “Knights of the Round Table” for the Christmas feast.
120. I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogles”.
121. I am not allowed to make lightsaber sound with my wand.
122. “Draco Malfoy Takes it Up The Arse” is not an acceptable Quidditch chant.
123. I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.
124. I will not wear my DEATH EATER AND PROUD OF IT! shirt to school.
125. I am not allowed to reenact famous battles of the Revolutionary War in the charms corridor.
126. I am not allowed to declare an official Hug A Slytherin Day.
127. I am not allowed to introduce myself to the first years as Tim the Enchanter.
128. I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance into any classroom.
129. I will not try and start Naked Thursdays in the Common Room.
130. It is not necessary for me to yell “BAMF!” every time I Apparate.
131. I will not steal Gryffindor’s sword from Dumbledore’s office and use it to patrol the hallways.
132. I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.
133. I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing the theme song to “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes”.
135. I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue.
136. I will not organize a Hogwarts Fight Club.
137. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.
138. I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.
139. I will not dress up in a Dementor suit and use a Dustbuster on Harry’s lips to get him to do what I want.
140. I will not start food fights in the Great Hall.
141. I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.
142. “To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys” is not an appropriote career choice.
143. I will not sing “We’re off to see the wizard” when sent to the Headmaster’s office.
144. The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife.
145. It is not necessary to yell “Burn!” everytime Snape takes points from Gryffindor.
146. “Y’all check this-here shit out!” is not an appropriate way to announce
that you are about to perform an experimental spell.
147. I will not hold my wand in the air before casting spells and shout “I have the power!”
148. I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.
149. I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights Who Say Ni have challenged
him to a duel and then have students yell “Ni” from various directions.
150. Getting everyone in the Great Hall to do the Time Warp will not earn me any house points .
When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!
If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that wil wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler.
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6, Bubble Blower, panache2005, .Dr1v3n t0 1n5aN1Ty., Serenity.Jones, crystalshake, KOIZUMI MICHIYO, Eeveeninja77, PhantomGirl12, Phantomgirl96, pinkpokodotz:)
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is jerk cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now read the THIRD word of every line
You know Your Obsessed With Danny Phantom When...
You don't trust old lunch ladies.
Every time you see your breath fog you think you have a ghost sense.
You know what Esperanto is.
You know a few Esperanto words.
You've ever tried to shoot ecto-blasts out of your hands
Every time you hear the name Vlad you think of Plasmius
You've gone looking for ghost portals
You want to dye your hair white
You know the theme song by heart
You can quote parts of/entire episodes
You threw a fit when you heard the show was being cancelled
You cried when Phantom Planet ended
Pssh. 'nuff said.
You know what an Ultra-recyclo vegetarian is.
You've spent hours in a room full of boxes to wait for the Box Ghost
You know the importance of Emergency Ham
You think hazmat suits rule
You run when you hear someone say "I want to go to the ball!"
You don't go near beauty pageants.
It's not Eragon, it's Aragon.
You like red berets
You check your virus scanner to see if it found Technus
You can't watch Men in Black without thinking of the Guys in White
You've tried to capture things in a thermos
You named your dog Cujo
You were excited when you turned 14
You searched Google maps for Amity Park
You freaked out when you found out there was a Fenton street
Whenever you get Fruit Loops you search the box for Vlad
When you're shocked you shout out a book title
You've tried to walk through walls
You always carry an orange with you in case the Ghost Writer attacks
You don't want locker 724
You support Frog's Rights
You don't like biker dudes
You know what a Fake-out Make-out is.
You've had a Fake-out Make-out.
You brought the bat with the word Fenton on it
You constantly check to make sure shadows aren't following you
You can't go to the circus without looking around for mind controlled ghosts
You think the term is mouse-meat, not mincemeat
You know what Pandora's Box REALLY is.
You never eat oatmeal at camp
You tried to turn your dad's fishing pole into a Fenton Fisher
You misspell the name of the first movie in the Star Wars saga
You know the difference between Danny, Dan, and Dani.
You screamed "FINALLY!" when Danny kissed Sam in Phantom Planet
You know never to use flour sacks with smiley faces on them to make cookies
You know Roosevelt's famous saying about fear
You get King Tuck confused with King Tut
You've shouted "I'M GOING GHOST!" in a crowd full of people
You've tried to fly
You've had Danny Phantom withdrawals
You have a notebook with pages of failed attempts to draw Danny's logo
You spazzed when you found out Danny Phantom was on DVD (on Amazon!)
Gonna catch 'em all is no longer a Pokémon phrase
You made plans to start a mad mob and head for Nick studios
You went on the Danny Phantom ride at Kings Island
You named your cat Maddie
You think the term 'ghost' is a bit insensitive. You prefer the term 'ecto-American.'
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
A birthday card for a 1 year old.
Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less.
Warning: Do not sit on zoo railings. You may fall in the cage and the animals may eat you, making them sick. Thank you.
The Percy Jackson pledge:
I promise to remember Percy
whenever I'm at sea
I promise to remember Annabeth
whenever a spider comes at me
I promise to protect nature
for Grover's sake of course
I promise to remember Luke
when my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Chiron
whenever I see a sign that says ''free pony ride''
I promise to remember Tyson
whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side
I promise to remember Thalia
whenever a friend is scared of heights
I promise to remember Clarisse
whenever I see someone that gives me a fright
I promise to remember Bianca
whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother
I promise to remember Nico
whenever I see someone who doesnt get along with others
I promise to remember Zoe
whenever I watch the stars
I promise to remember Rachel
whenever a limo passes my car.
Yes I promise to remember PJO
wherever I may go
Ever wonder...
1)You know, when i was born i was so shocked i didn't speak for one and a half years...
"Wasabi~ It's like a party in my mouth!" ~Fang
I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak, either behind my back, or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.
But I am also the girl who knows and is proud of who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing things no one seems to have the time to do anymore, who loves and is obsessed with Danny Phantom/Statick Shock/Maximum Ride and something new every few minutes, who can express herself better without words than with words, and knows the importance of the little things.
Copy and Paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.
~PrettyFanGirl, Truth Be Told 13, creative-writing-girl13, Jasper 1006, DubbleV, iStartRiots, CourtneyXDuncanForver, musicaltheatergirl-dxc4eva, SamanthaFenton, Linzerj, I'mdancinonthefloorforacartoon~Skellingtonfan1-Phantomgirl96, pinkpokodots:), JustPlainPain~, mreader1
Author's Head Has Exploded And Will Be Back Shortly
WATCH THIS AND TELL ME YOU DIDN'T LAUGH!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=7VSR4_tAYvw
Cop1: Sir, we have a containment breech. They're escaping.
Cop2: So?
Cop1: They stole the waffles.
Cop2: OH MY GOD WE'RE SENDING IN THE NAVY!!!
39 Ways To Annoy Iggy
1.Lead him into the girl’s bathroom but tell him it’s the boy’s
2.Pretend to be deaf
3.Give him some random piece of clothing and tell him it’s a new kind of hat
4.Which it isn’t
5.Take pictures when he puts it on his head
6.Post the pictures on Fang’s blog
7.Start screaming when ever he starts a sentence
8. Hand cuff him to Nudge and make him listen to her for hours
9. Stare at him suspiciously…
10.Keep staring at until he gets really annoyed
11.Tell him you found Narnia in his closet
12.Then shove him at it
13.When he runs into the wall tell him it closed a second before he reached it
14.The lion doesn’t like the birds
15.Say indeed after every sentence
16.Sing Weird Al so softly only he can hear them
17.Watch him go insane
18.Pay Gazzy ten bucks to imitate his voice saying…
19.“OMG! Squee! That purse is so cute!”
20. Laugh while watching him chase Gazzy around the room
21.Ask him why he said that
22.“Did you think it would go with your dress?”
23.“Cos girl, it doesn’t!”
24.Run away screaming
25.Keep asking, “Did you see that?!” Over and over again
26.When he tries to sit down pull the chair away
27.Poke him and run away
28.Make him run into you then say, “How could you not’ve seen me!?”
29.Fart then blame it on him
30.Burn all his clothes then give him a dress to ware
31.Pop out of corners and scream, “BOO!!”
32.Accuse him of looking at Fang’s butt
33.State that even though he can’t see he was looking
34.Start speaking only in sign language
35.Kiss him then tell him Fang did it
36.Sing the song that never ends so obnoxiously even total gets annoyed
37.Dance to The Mysterious Ticking Noise
38.Read everything out loud
39.Scream “OMG! ITS MICHAEL JACKSON!! RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIIIVES!!” at random times
30 Ways To Annoy Maximum Ride
1. Tell her Sam says hi and he loves her
2. Push Fang into her so they end up lying on the ground together
3. Dye everything she owns pink
4. Sing the song that never ends on a long flight
5. While flying push Fang and Iggy and sing “It’s Raining Men!” as they fall
6. “Accidentally” call Fang “Fag” in front of her face
7. Offer to cut her hair while holding a sharp object
8. When she comes out of the room throw some bouncy down the hall and scream:
9. “Go Pikachu, Go!!”
10. Set her alarm clock to go off every ten minutes
11. Sing “Gay Asian Kitten” to Fang
12. Hold her hand and whisper, “I see dead people.”
13. When Erasers are coming scream repeatedly, “The British are coming!”
14. Fall over her feet then accuse her of tripping you
15. Whenever she says something to you, moo like a cow
16. Call her a Cow
17. Do Nudge’s hair
18. Badly
19. Sing “I Believe I Can Fly!” before taking off
20. Before opening a door, grip the knob tightly and scream,
21. “I HAVE THE POWER!!”
22. Walk in on her when she’s in the bathroom
23. Put your finger on her forehead and scream, “POKE OF DOOM!”
24. Scream, “FEAR ME!” when attacking Erasers
25. Point at a package of pencils and say, “OMG! Erasers!”
26. Do the chicken dance then laugh at her
27. Tell her Fang is gay and thinks he’s ah hem, “Fangalicious!”
28. Point at a random bird and say, “That could be your cousin!”
29. Ask her if she’s a lesbian
30. Scream from across the room, “I HAVE THOSE ADULT DIAPERS YOU WANTED!”
30 Way To Really Annoying Your Friends
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. Say "Wouldn't you like to know?" everytime someone asks you a question.
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog."
15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions to "keep them tuned up."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
17. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and copy them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."
27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidently" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
51 Ways to Annoy Fang
1) Poke him between the wings and then run away screaming, "I touched a goth kid!!"
2) When he flies at you all angry and stuff, tell him to go poop in mid-air!
3) You know, like a real bird!
4) When he's sleeping, pull out some of his secondary feathers...
5) Then tickle his face with them!
6) Tell him Iggy has a crush on him.
7) Keep telling him until he punches you and then go tell on him to Max.
8) Tell Max to rip his spine out and beat him with it. (From Book 2 remember?)
9) Tell him Nudge thinks he's sexy.
10) While flying, get Total into an animated conversation about Brittney Spears.
11) Then ask him what he thinks about the subject.
12) Tell him he should shave his head like Brittney.
13) Get in a loud conversation with Max about if she uses tampons or liners.
14) Say loudly that you sometimes use both because your period is so heavy.
15) Fly over him and pretend to count the number of hairs on his head.
16) Then tell him he has dandruff and needs a hair cut.
17) Ask him if he dyed his hair or if he was born a freaky goth kid.
18) Braid his hair while he sleeps.
19) Pay Gazzy ten bucks to kick him in the shins. Laugh the whole time.
20) Whenever he leans on a tree and becomes invisible...
21) Practice karate on the said tree, making his move.
22) Ask hi if he wants a sandwich. If he says yes,scream, "APRIL FOOLS!!"
23) If he says no...
24) Cry and run away screaming, "My sandwiches are just as good as Max's!"
25) If he isn't talking, ask him why you heard Max in his room last night.
26) And she was making all these weird sound... (that should make him answer!)
27) Every time he says something, say, "So is your face!" (That annoys everyone!)
28) Say the following sentences repeatedly in crowded areas:
29) "Where did you hide your razors this time, you stupid emo kid!"
30) "I seriously think we should use a condom next time."
31) Ask Max (in front of the whole flock) if Fang is good in bed.
32) Stand in his way constantly, even in front of the bathroom door.
33) Make him breakfast, then right before he sits down to eat sneeze on it.
34) Grab a random emo guy around the waist, point Fang out to him and say:
35) "Hey! This is Fang! You want to go out with him? He's lonely" *tear*
36) Stand really closed to him a say, "Oooh! That feels good!"
37) If you ever happen to be in the same room alone with him...
38)Start singing an MCR song and ask him if he likes the band.
39) Continue singing and never let him answer.
40) Tell him you want to name your cat after him. Fang the cat.
41) Ask him if he would like to name his kid "Tooth".
42) Tell him you think that's not a good idea.
43) Suggest the names Tally and Isabella.
44) Or Unikwaa.
45) Tell him you want to have his children. Tally, Isabella, And Unikwaa.
46) Dare him to push Angel down.
47) Make him pinky swear to do it so he gets in a lot of trouble.
48) Hide his comb and hair gel.
49) And his eyeliner. Don't forget the eyeliner. Does he even where it? Find out.
50) Make him admit he's gay, Record "him"saying so.
And finally, the last one. The best one that will make him implode.
(note: explode is bad. Implode is worse)
51) Tell him Max is a lesbian.
(author starts rolling on the floor laughing her a$$ off)
On a funnier note..........
When people don't laugh at our jokes we don't think of it as a "You had to be there." type of thing. But more like a "You have to be mentally retarded like us." type of thing(or completely nuts, perverted, and have no dignity whatsoever)
Having the love of your life say, "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.
"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."
A good friend will bail you out of jail. But a best friend will be in the room next to you yelling "THAT WAS AWESOME LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"
All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.......when your boyfriend dumps you imitate darth vader.
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!
When life give you lemons, make apple juice and let the world wonder how you did it.
When life gives you lemons you make Grape juice, sit back, and laugh as the world 'trys' to figure out how you did it! XD
Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. -evil laugh-... parking garage... yellow bunnies... blue m&m's... Aston Martin... random words...motorcycle...tutu...candy canes...canadia)
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On a pizza place advertisement: "Limit 2 slices per person with a purchase; Dine-in or carry-out only." (In or out... so the roof's not an option, then?)
On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap".
(And that would be, how?)
On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost".
(Just a suggestion...)
On Nana’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down".
(Oh, now you tell me!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".
(Isn't that the point?)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nitol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".
(Well, I should hope so!)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".
(As opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor:” Not to be used for the other use".
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts".
(Talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
(Oh, darn...)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Kind of makes you wonder, huh?( i love these!! If you have any other ones, I WANT TO HHEAR THEM!)ps. I don't own!:(
sent in by viewers like you!
On a KING SIZED mattres: "Warning: do not atempt to swallow."(darn and that matrise looked so
appitizing)
Thanks to: Victoria xx287xx
On a slime egg toy: "not food. Not to be ingested."
(Hmm, tastes like chicken…) -Thanks akakat101
On a package of dog kibble: "Contains real artificial bacon bits." (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.) -that makes me feel so much better! Thanks Sunlight Storm!
Send them in! - the more i laugh, the closer the world comes to self destruction!
Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.
For those that don't know, these are awesome QUOTES!!
"Now, if you two don't mind, I'm going to bed, before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed, or worse, expelled." - Hermione Granger - Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.
"The man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a drink. The man who was sleeping drinks it while listening to a proposition from the man who did the waking." - Captain Jack Sparrow - Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl
"Ashante-sana squashed banana." - Rafiki - The Lion King
"Kairi! Remember what you said before? I'm always with you too. I'll come back to you...I promise!" - Sora - Kingdom Hearts
"I am a librarian." - Evelyn Carnahan - The Mummy
"It's like my buddy Timon here says: You gotta put your behind in your past." - Pumbaa - The Lion King
"Got it memorized?" - Axel - Kingdom Hearts II
"It's the Bible. You get credit for trying." - Ragetti - Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
"What about elevinsies? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper? He knows about them, doesn't he?" - Pippin - Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring
"Inconceivable!" Vizzini - The Princess Bride
"I got jar of dirt. I got a jar of dirt. Igot a jar of dirt." -Captin Jack Sparow- Pirate of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest
copy/paste!!
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you think that those stupid kids should just give that poor Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile.
If you know (a) video game character(s) or video game weapon(s) that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile.
92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your carcass off.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't,copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, Queen S of Randomness 016, Light Dragon SunsSong, Neassa, Kimiko, Ocean's Nocturne of the COCA, luvablenerd, I RuleThisWorldSoGetYourOwn, pinkpokodotz:)
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.
I solemly swear that anyone who flames my stories will get a flame back. FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE! BEAT OUT THE FLAMES! If you agree (or hate flamers), copy this into your profile.
If you're easily confussed or confuzzled add this to you're profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you've ever argued with yourself and lost, copy and paste this into your profile.
85 percent of the people who read Harry Potter think Luna Lovegood is crazy. If you are a part of the 15 percent that thinks she rules, copy this into your profile
15 percent of every high school population is considered "Popular". 20 percent is desperate to become a part of the popular 15 percent. 20 percent couldn't care less. 15 percent realize that popularity doesn't matter. 10 are too busy worrying about their grades to care. 5 percent are goths, 5 percent can speak another language fluently, and 5 percent are too stupid to realize that no one likes them. If you are a part of the 5 percent who think the 'unpopular' 85 percent should rebel against the popular 15 percent, copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Ocean's Nocturne of the COCA, luvablenerd,I RuleThisWorldSoGetYourOwn, pinkpokodotz:)
If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.(oh the irony)
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.
If you are a klutz, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.
FANFICTION: MY ANTI-DRUG. because, who has time for drugs if you're reading and plotting and writing and checking reviews? If this is true for you, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile.
Too many people have smoked marijuana. If you haven't, put this in your profile.
Too many people are on crack. If you're not, add this to your bio.
If you’ve ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table for no reason copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever changed your password on something and forgotten it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever gotten a lock (like one on a locker) and put it on something, then forgot the combination, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile
If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.
Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
Chocolate chip cookies are the best!! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile!!
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.
If you like to put these types of things in your profile, copy and paste to your profile.
If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, put this in your pro.
If you ever laughed at a movie that wasnt funny, put this in your pro.
If you love rain, put this into your profile.
For all of you who dont know, stupitity killed the cat and curiosity was framed. If you didn't know this,copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever tripped where there was a 'watch your step' sign, put this in your pro.
"REMEMBER WHEN"
REMEMBER WHEN .. getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground?the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs?when )m 0 m( was your heroand 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblingsand rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?when - WAR- was a card gameand life was simple and care free?remember when all you wanted to doWAS GROW UP?
Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now
Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.
Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy that kisses your forhead,
who keeps your picture in his wallet,
who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,
who holds your handin front of all his freinds,
who thinks your beautiful without makeup,
one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,
THE one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER!
(So true!!)
Vote forEdward Cullen for President 'Armageddon; he is Mr. Indestructible.
Mr. Cullen gives his thanks for your support._ XD
Vote for Fang, This years Armageddon president; he's seen it, done it, and lets face it... he rocks!
Mr. Ride gives you his thanks for your support +.+ MAX RIDE FOR EVER!
here's another one:
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you draw Edward's face and hot bod all over your Advanced Placement United States History notes when you should be concentrating on the APUSH final the next day.Crazy is when you run into a pole and say as your excuse you were daydreaming about your fictionl boyfriend Edward. Crazy is screaming everytime you hear the name Edward because you think Jacob is 10 times better. HAHA! -laughs at Edward fangirls- --That's Crazy, too. Crazy is when you're not paying attention when the teacher is rambling and you think of something funny from the other day that you don't realize is funny til that moment and you burst into hysterical laughter and the entire class turns around and stares at you and you look the other way and pretend you don't notice. Crazy is when you star in your own movie and pretend to be an assassin... multiple times. Crazy is when you burst into your sister's room screaming 'Why are you here' in SPANISH when she's in a higher spanish class than you and then when she replies with a sentence you don't know, you say exactly what she said! Crazy is when you have an argument with some friends about who is crazier, and and your friend that was reading a psychology book to psych out his psycologyst wins and he wasn't a choice!
If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!
This is cool!
You know you live in 2008
1.) You accidentaly enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years.
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or myspace.
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5 isn't there.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did
13) Now you are mad at me... and thinking about calling up that hacker friend...
Goes on hands& knees "please don't hack me plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..."
15) How do i know this? Alice from twilight is on the phone!
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile.
FAMOUS LAST WORDS: "That's funny, I remember seeing someone who looked just like you on America's Most Wanted..."
Words of Wisdom For The Unwise
- When upset, depressed, or stressed, have a freakout moment. Its fun. :)
- When in doubt, act happy. It will drive every one else crazy. >:)
- When you're arguing with someone about who did what first, walk up to them and scream: "WELL I'M NOT THE ONE WHO STABBED THE CAPTAIN WITH A PICKLE!!!!!" flalling your arms like an idiot, shake their hand and then walk away calmly.
- When you don't know who you are, it may be that 5 out of 4 of you are schizophrenic.
- When upset, say Djibouti (JUH-boot-ee) 3x
Funny Jokes You Can Tell to Your Friends
Blond Jokes
- One time there was a blond sitting in the middle of a field, "rowing" a boat. so here comes another blond in a car. she stops by the field and screams, "YOU KNOW IT'S BLONDS LIKE YOU THAT GIVE US A BAD NAME!! IF I COULD SWIM I'D COME OUT THERE AND STRANGLE YOU!!"
- There were three girls about to commit suicide off a 100 story building. There was a blond, a brunet, and a red head. They jumped, but changed their minds at the last second. A genie appeared and said he would grant each of them 1 wish. so the brunet wished for a slide underneath her. She slide to safety. the red head wished for a pile of feathers beneath her. She was safe. the blond however couldn't think of anything and accidentally said "Oh, crap!"
A white man said "colored people are not allowed here".
A black man stood up and said "listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK.
When I grew up I was BLACK.
When I'm sick I'm BLACK.
When I go in the sun I'm BLACK.
When I'm cold I'm BLACK.
When I die I'll be BLACK.
But you sir,
When you were born you were PINK.
When you grow up your WHITE.
When your sick your GREEN.
When you go in the sun your RED.
When your cold your BLUE.
And when you die you turn PURPLE.
And you have the nerve to call me colored?"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away.
Put this on your page if you HATE racism
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal.
It looked too good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'
The next day someone stole it!
They walk amongst us!*
One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted...'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?'
They walk among us!!*
While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff'
They Walk Among Us!!*
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but 'didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'.
They Walk Among Us!!!!*
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped She keeps it in the trunk.
They Walk Among Us!!!!!*
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, 'Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?' I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...
They Walk Among Us!!!!!!! *
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived yet?'...
They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!!*
While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.
Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.!!!!!!!!
I'M A HOMESCHOOLER AND I'M PROUD!
Many people believe this stereotype about homeschoolers:
We have little-to-no friends, we never leave our house, and we are social outcasts.
Help spread the word that this steryotype is WRONG! Copy and paste this into your profile!
I live in a world...
Where being normal is too mundane, too boring for a human being...
Where animals talk, and actually have something to say...
Where Christmas is magical, and miracles actually happen...
Where Halloween is brought by a dancing skeleton and a rag doll woman...
Where snow is because of a man with scissors for hands...
Where superheroes protect the innocent...
Where wardrobes have magical worlds inside...
Where wizards and witches are common...
Where owls bring the mail...
Where imagination powers everything...
Where half-god children go on adventures...
Where ghosts are real, and many are friendly...
Where anyone can fly, if the believe...
Where children never grow old...
Where fairies exist...
Where everyone is different...
Where the beds are made for jumping...
Where we spend the day laughing...
I live in a world different from everything, care to join me?
Written By Skellingtonfan1
REMEMBER WHEN
REMEMBER WHENGetting HIGH meant swinging at a playground?The worst thing you could get from a boy was COOTIES?
MOM was your hero and DAD was the boy you were gonna marry?When your W0RST ENEMIES were your siblingsand RACE ISSUES were about who ran fastest?When WAR was a card gameand life was SIMPLE and CAREFREE?Remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?
Put This In Your Profile If You're Still Five Inside... No Matter How Old You Are Now.
The sorting hat says that I belong in Hufflepuff!
Said Hufflepuff, "I'll teach the lot, and treat them just the same."
Hufflepuff students are friendly, fair-minded, modest, and hard-working. A well-known member was Cedric Diggory, who represented Hogwarts in the most recent Triwizard Tournament.
Take the most scientific Harry Potter
Quiz ever created.
1) I need to tell you a secret! (Look at 5)
2) The answer is... (Look at 11)
3) Don't get mad! (Look at 15)
4) Calm down! Don't be angry! (Look at 13)
5) First... (Look at 2)
6) Don't be mad! (Look at 12)
7) I just wanted to say hi!
8) What I wanted to tell you is... (Look at 14)
9) Patient! (Look at 4)
10) This is the last time I'm going to do this! (Look at 7)
11) I'm not mad when I say this! (Look at 6)
12) Sorry! (Look at 8)
13) Don't be getting all hyper! (Look at 10)
14) I don't know how to say this... (Look at 3)
15) You must really be mad! (Look at 9)
95% of teens would cry if they saw Justin Bieber at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this if you are part of the 5% that would sit there with popcorn and a camera and yell DO A BACKFLIP!
95% of teens hate Twilight. Copy this into your profile if you hate it.
If you hate Twilight with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns, copy and paste this into your profile, grab a bat, and let's find Robert Pattinson!
If you actually tried to give yourself ghost powers, smack yourself for being stupid! Oh, and copy and paste this into your profile.
You say Pink
I say Black
You say Jonas Brothers
I say Capra
You say prep
I say me myself and i
You say Hannah Montanna
I say Beatles
You say Superman
I say Danny Phantom
You say I'm a freak
I say Thanks.
11 ways to annoy/scare your roomate:
0. Every time the phone rings, turn on the stereo at full volume and begin to violently slam-dance with your roommate. If he/she asks about it, say, "Oh, that darn hypnotist..."
1. Hang a picture of your roommate on the wall. Throw darts at it. Smile at your roommate often, saying things like, "How nice to see you again."
2. Get a can of beans. Label them, "Jumping beans." Eat them, and then jump around the room. Get another can of beans. Label them, "Dancing beans." Eat them, and then dance around the room. Get another can of beans. Label them, "Kill Your Roommate beans." Eat them, smiling at your roommate.
3. Every time your roommate falls asleep, wait ten minutes, and then wake him/her up and say, "It's time to go to bed now."
4. Insist that your roommate recite the "Pledge Of Allegiance" with you every morning.
5. Recite "Dr. Seuss" books, all the time. Eventually, think up melodies for the words and sing them, loudly, directly to your roommate. If he/she tells you to stop, act offended and spend the day in bed.
6. Put up traffic signs around the room. If your roommate doesn't obey them, give him/her tickets. Confiscate something your roommate owns until he/she pays the tickets.
7. Walk, talk, and dress like a cowboy at all times. If your roommate inquires, tell him/her, "Don't worry little buckaroo. You'll be safe with me."
8. Complain that your elbows, knees, and other joints have been bothering you. Get a screwdriver, and pretend to "fix" them.
9. Paint abstract paintings, and title them things like, "Roommate Dying in a Car Crash," and "Roommate Getting Whacked in the Head with a Shovel." Comment often about how much you love the paintings.
10. Wear glasses, and complain that you can never see anything. Bump into walls and doors. Put your clothes on backwards. Say, "Who's that?" every time your roommate enters the room. When you're not wearing the glasses, act like you can see fine.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...
You talk to yourself a lot.
You talk to yourself about talking to yourself.
When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else.
After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow, this stuff is great for sugar highs..."
You live off of sugar and caffine
People think you're insane.
You'll check your e-mail every day of the week one week, and then dissappear off the face of the earth the next.
You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.
Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.
People think you have A.D.D.
You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
You start thinking about making lists like this and start laughing for no "apparent" reason
Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.
And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.
Copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions.
1. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Danizzle
2. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): Green Cheetah
3. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name): (Uh no STALKER!)
4. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Pendafra
5. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (fav color, fav drink): Green Mountain Dew (Lol that is right!)
6. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets): Black Louie
7. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (fav fruit, and something that can go wrong): Orange Slide
8. YOUR PIRATE NAME: (fav color, pirate accessory): Green Eyepatch
150 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts
1. I will not poke Hufflepuff’s with spoons, nor will I insist that their house colors indicate that they are “covered in bees”.
2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class
4. “I’ve heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood’s name” is not a challenge.
5. Putting up Doug Henning posters in Filch’s office is not appropriote.
6. I will not go to class skyclad.
7. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.
8. I will not use Umbridge’s quill to write “I told you I was hardcore”.
9. I will stop referring to showering as “giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful”.
10. Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. “Polishing my wand” in the common room is not.
11. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw the Dark Mark on their arm.
12. House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
13. Staring a betting pool on the fate of this years DADA teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.
16. I will not claim Chick Tracts are an accurate presentation of Muggle life.
17. Seamus Finnegan is not “after me Lucky Charms”.
18. I will not refer to the Weasley twins as”bookends”.
19. I will not refer to the Patil twins as “bookends”.
20. I will not call the DADA teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.
21. There is no such thing as a were-thylacine.
22. I will not provide Luna Lovegood with Coast-to-Coast AM transcripts.
23. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.
24. I will not place anything by Silver Ravenwolf on the library shelves.
25. Tricking the school house elf into stripping does not mean they are now mine even if I yell “Pwned!”
26. I am not a sloth Animagus.
27. I am not a tribble Aimagus.
28. I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or a piranha.
29. I do not weigh the same as a duck.
30. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.
31. I do not have a Dalek Patronus.
32. I will not lick Trevor.
33. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.
34. The Ravenclaws are not “Mentals in training”.
35. Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazghul is coincidental.
36. I will not change the password to the prefect’s bath to “Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty”.
38. Professor Flitwick does not wish to be adressed as “Admiral Naismith”.
39. Asking “How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?” is only funny the first time.
42. “42″ is not the answer to every question to the O.W.L.’s.
43. It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.
44. I am not to Owl copies of the Evil Overlord List to suspected Death Eaters.
45. I will not offer to prepare tandori owl.
46. I will stop asking when we will learn to make “Love Potion Number Nine”.
47. I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.
48. I will not teach the first-years to sing “A Wizard’s Staff Has A Knob On The End”.
49. If Ginny Weasley wanted to borrow my Darkover books, she would have said so already.
50. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
51. I will not go to meals dressed as Choda Boy.
52. Sirius Black did not found the Sirius Cybernetics Corp.
53. I will not draw an “H” on Percy Weasley’s forehead.
54. My name is not Captain Subtext.
55. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab does not sell potions ingredients and I will not resell their products as “Veela Pheremones”.
56. I will not refer to Kingsley Shacklebolt as a “Big Black Sex Auror”.
57. I cannot Hadoken anything into oblivion.
58. Professor Flitwick’s first name is not Yoda.
59. I am not the Defense Against the Boring Classes Professor.
60. I am no longer allowed to use the words “pimp cane” in front of Draco Malfoy.
61. It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed and I
should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the
result would be.
62. Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled “Firewhiskey”.
63. Using the Engorgio charm on certain parts of the human anatomy is not
permitted on school grounds, not even for entertainment purposes.
64. First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.
65. A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or drumming on desks, no matter how bored I become.
66. It is inappropriate to slip sample bottles of Selsun Blue into Professor Snape’s personal postbox.
67. I will stop referring to Hufflepuff’s as “cannon fodder”.
68. I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.
69. First-years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow.
70. Novelty or holiday themed ties are not to be worn with my school uniform.
71. I will not use my socks to make hand puppets of the Slytherin house mascot.
72. When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June battle of Good v. Evil, I
will not lift my wand skyward and shout “There can be only ONE!”.
73. I should not refer to DADA professors as “canaries in the coal mine”.
74. I will not say the phrase “Dude, get a life.” to Lord Voldemort.
75. I will not put books of muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library.
76. There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth house at Hogwarts.
And I am not a member of that house, nor am I its founder.
77. I will not refer to the Accio charm as “The Force”.
78. Albus Dumbledore’s proper title is “Headmaster”, not “My Liege”.
79. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I foresaw her death.
80. I will not use Slytherin and Gryffindor first years as Christmas decorations.
81. Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.
82. If asked in class what the Avada Kedavra curse does, yelling “It Does
DEATH!!!” may be correct but it is not the manner in which one should
answer.
83. I am not allowed out of my dorm when visitors from the Ministry are here.
84. I am not allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot gay sex will occur.
85. Ravenclaw’s do not find a sign saying “The library is closed for and indefinite time period” amusing in any sense.
86. I will not attempt to recreate the Key to Time in Transfiguration class.
87. A time turner is not a flux capacitator, and I should therefore not install one in any Muggle cars.
88. I am not allowed to use silencing charms on my Professors.
89. I will not charm Hermione’s time turner to rotate every half-hour.
90. If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
91. I will not claim my X-Files tapes are “Auror Training Videos”.
92. When being interrogated by a member of the staff, I am not to wave my
hand and announce “These are not the droids you are looking for”.
93. I am not a member of the Spanish Inquisition.
94. Albus Dumbledore is not my personal Jesus.
95. I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.
96. I will not follow potions instructions in reverse order just to see what
happens.
97. I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts: A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.
98. “OMGWTF” is not a spell.
99. I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.
100. I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.
101. I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbott and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles.
102. I will not cast the occasional Oblivate spell on Dumbledore, even if it would be amusing.
103. I am not allowed to give the Gryffindors Pixie Stix.
104. I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and take bets on who will come out alive.
105. I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they are real animals.
106. I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.
107. I will not sing The Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches.
108. I will not tell first years that they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.
109. I will not douse Harry Potter’s Invisibility Cloak with lemon juice to
see if he will become visible wearing it and standing near the fire in
the common room.
110. I will not tell first years that Moon Prism Power is a basic Transfiguration spell.
111. I will not yell “Believe it… or not!” after any of Dumbledore’s speeches.
112. Bringing fortune cookies to Divination class does not count for extra credit.
113. My name is not “The Dark Lord Happy-Pants” and I am not allowed to sign my papers as such.
114. There is no such thing as the Chamber of Double Secret Probation.
115. I will not attempt to magically animate my marshmallow Peeps.
116. I will never ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling.
117. Voldemort is not Ganandorf, and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts.
118. I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rock series during Arithmancy exams.
119. I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of “Knights of the Round Table” for the Christmas feast.
120. I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogles”.
121. I am not allowed to make lightsaber sound with my wand.
122. “Draco Malfoy Takes it Up The Arse” is not an acceptable Quidditch chant.
123. I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.
124. I will not wear my DEATH EATER AND PROUD OF IT! shirt to school.
125. I am not allowed to reenact famous battles of the Revolutionary War in the charms corridor.
126. I am not allowed to declare an official Hug A Slytherin Day.
127. I am not allowed to introduce myself to the first years as Tim the Enchanter.
128. I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance into any classroom.
129. I will not try and start Naked Thursdays in the Common Room.
130. It is not necessary for me to yell “BAMF!” every time I Apparate.
131. I will not steal Gryffindor’s sword from Dumbledore’s office and use it to patrol the hallways.
132. I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.
133. I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing the theme song to “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes”.
135. I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue.
136. I will not organize a Hogwarts Fight Club.
137. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.
138. I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.
139. I will not dress up in a Dementor suit and use a Dustbuster on Harry’s lips to get him to do what I want.
140. I will not start food fights in the Great Hall.
141. I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.
142. “To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys” is not an appropriote career choice.
143. I will not sing “We’re off to see the wizard” when sent to the Headmaster’s office.
144. The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife.
145. It is not necessary to yell “Burn!” everytime Snape takes points from Gryffindor.
146. “Y’all check this-here shit out!” is not an appropriate way to announce
that you are about to perform an experimental spell.
147. I will not hold my wand in the air before casting spells and shout “I have the power!”
148. I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.
149. I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights Who Say Ni have challenged
him to a duel and then have students yell “Ni” from various directions.
150. Getting everyone in the Great Hall to do the Time Warp will not earn me any house points .
When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!
If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that wil wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler.
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6, Bubble Blower, panache2005, .Dr1v3n t0 1n5aN1Ty., Serenity.Jones, crystalshake, KOIZUMI MICHIYO, Eeveeninja77, PhantomGirl12, Phantomgirl96, pinkpokodotz:)
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is jerk cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now read the THIRD word of every line
You know Your Obsessed With Danny Phantom When...
You don't trust old lunch ladies.
Every time you see your breath fog you think you have a ghost sense.
You know what Esperanto is.
You know a few Esperanto words.
You've ever tried to shoot ecto-blasts out of your hands
Every time you hear the name Vlad you think of Plasmius
You've gone looking for ghost portals
You want to dye your hair white
You know the theme song by heart
You can quote parts of/entire episodes
You threw a fit when you heard the show was being cancelled
You cried when Phantom Planet ended
Pssh. 'nuff said.
You know what an Ultra-recyclo vegetarian is.
You've spent hours in a room full of boxes to wait for the Box Ghost
You know the importance of Emergency Ham
You think hazmat suits rule
You run when you hear someone say "I want to go to the ball!"
You don't go near beauty pageants.
It's not Eragon, it's Aragon.
You like red berets
You check your virus scanner to see if it found Technus
You can't watch Men in Black without thinking of the Guys in White
You've tried to capture things in a thermos
You named your dog Cujo
You were excited when you turned 14
You searched Google maps for Amity Park
You freaked out when you found out there was a Fenton street
Whenever you get Fruit Loops you search the box for Vlad
When you're shocked you shout out a book title
You've tried to walk through walls
You always carry an orange with you in case the Ghost Writer attacks
You don't want locker 724
You support Frog's Rights
You don't like biker dudes
You know what a Fake-out Make-out is.
You've had a Fake-out Make-out.
You brought the bat with the word Fenton on it
You constantly check to make sure shadows aren't following you
You can't go to the circus without looking around for mind controlled ghosts
You think the term is mouse-meat, not mincemeat
You know what Pandora's Box REALLY is.
You never eat oatmeal at camp
You tried to turn your dad's fishing pole into a Fenton Fisher
You misspell the name of the first movie in the Star Wars saga
You know the difference between Danny, Dan, and Dani.
You screamed "FINALLY!" when Danny kissed Sam in Phantom Planet
You know never to use flour sacks with smiley faces on them to make cookies
You know Roosevelt's famous saying about fear
You get King Tuck confused with King Tut
You've shouted "I'M GOING GHOST!" in a crowd full of people
You've tried to fly
You've had Danny Phantom withdrawals
You have a notebook with pages of failed attempts to draw Danny's logo
You spazzed when you found out Danny Phantom was on DVD (on Amazon!)
Gonna catch 'em all is no longer a Pokémon phrase
You made plans to start a mad mob and head for Nick studios
You went on the Danny Phantom ride at Kings Island
You named your cat Maddie
You think the term 'ghost' is a bit insensitive. You prefer the term 'ecto-American.'
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
A birthday card for a 1 year old.
Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less.
Warning: Do not sit on zoo railings. You may fall in the cage and the animals may eat you, making them sick. Thank you.
The Percy Jackson pledge:
I promise to remember Percy
whenever I'm at sea
I promise to remember Annabeth
whenever a spider comes at me
I promise to protect nature
for Grover's sake of course
I promise to remember Luke
when my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Chiron
whenever I see a sign that says ''free pony ride''
I promise to remember Tyson
whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side
I promise to remember Thalia
whenever a friend is scared of heights
I promise to remember Clarisse
whenever I see someone that gives me a fright
I promise to remember Bianca
whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother
I promise to remember Nico
whenever I see someone who doesnt get along with others
I promise to remember Zoe
whenever I watch the stars
I promise to remember Rachel
whenever a limo passes my car.
Yes I promise to remember PJO
wherever I may go
Ever wonder...